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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879839">Just a Little</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VathySkotadi/pseuds/VathySkotadi'>VathySkotadi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Little Witch Academia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Emotional Manipulation, Escapism, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:53:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,410</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VathySkotadi/pseuds/VathySkotadi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Diana is tired. She hates her work, and maybe even her life—save for her wife, and the memories within her, which seem to be the sole escape of her living hell when alcohol doesn't do the trick.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=macartura08">macartura08</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Night fell upon the Cavendish state, and as usual, Diana’s heart seemed to tighten in her chest, making it ever so harder to breathe. She turned away from the paperwork in front of her, showing numbers that every new day caused her more headaches, and walked to the cabinet on the side of the room. She stood in front of it for what felt like an eternity, hand outstretched but doubtful, before again that sensation struck, robbing her of air for a second. She opened the door and looked inside. Bottles of various liquors looked back at her, half of them already empty. She took a new one without truly bothering to look at what it was—some Gin, she believed.</p>
<p>With the bottle at hand, she sat back on the table, opposite to where her paperwork waited. She needed only to clap two times before a maid entered the room with a glass and ice.</p>
<p>“Do you wish for some tonic, my lady?”</p>
<p>“Leave,” Diana waved a dismissive hand. The maid bowed quickly before turning and leaving the room.</p>
<p>Diana put ice on the glass and poured it full of gin. She then drank it all in one go.</p>
<p>It took a few seconds, but the tightness of her chest finally eased. She took a deep breath. Akko would be home shortly. She just needed to wait a little while. She just…</p>
<p>Letting out a sigh, Diana pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to hide from the world. As that proved ineffective, she drank another glass of gin and tried to forget about the shitty day she’d had—as was routine in her life.</p>
<p><em>Just a little longer. Just a little longer. Just a little…</em> Right as she was about to begin this mantra to calm herself, a big thump made her look up. That had been the main door of the mansion being closed—which meant only one thing.</p>
<p>As expected, a minute later, Akko walked into the dining room wearing the white attire that was now her brand and uniform as an idol. “Hello,” she smiled timidly. She eyed the bottle in front of Diana with clear discomfort, but Diana ignored that and rose.</p>
<p>“Welcome back,” she said in a rather monotone voice, feeling her mouth twist into what should have been a smile but likely looked more like a scorn. She approached the brunette and kissed her, glass still on her hand. Kissing Akko was one of the few things that brought her some calm in days like these. Akko resisted a bit at first—she disliked alcohol—but she eventually gave into the kiss.</p>
<p>When Diana was satisfied, she stepped away. “How was your day?” Akko asked, putting her hat and cape on the table and sitting down.</p>
<p>“Same as always,” Diana said. She needn’t ask for Akko’s day: She loved her job, and her life. Why wouldn’t she? She was adored by thousands of people, and all she had to do was do a few visually impressive magic tricks. <em>No, it’s more complicated than that…</em> Diana tried to sway away from those thoughts, but it was futile. She drank more gin in an effort to quiet them.</p>
<p>Akko took one of the papers in Diana’s stack and looked over it. “Hey, it seems we’re doing better than last month,” she said.</p>
<p>“Put that back on the pile,” Diana said, throwing a look that wasn’t meant to be harsh but likely came off as such at her. She just didn’t want Akko having to deal with this side of life.</p>
<p>“Right, sorry,” Akko released a nervous chuckle. The sound annoyed Diana. What was she, scared of her? She had no reason to be. “S-so, what are we eating?”</p>
<p>Diana shrugged. She hadn’t had time to ask the chef for anything, so he’d probably taken it upon himself to prepare something. It didn’t matter a lot. She didn’t enjoy food, not anymore. She didn’t enjoy anything anymore… save for maybe one thing.</p>
<p>Despite the alcohol, upon thinking of that, Diana felt her chest tightening again. <em>Don’t do it,</em> she tried to stop herself to no avail. “Hey, Akko, come here,” Diana said in a rather imperative tone.</p>
<p>Her wife hesitated for a moment before standing and walking over. Diana turned her chair and patted her lap, inviting Akko onto it. Akko carefully sat down, throwing her arms around Diana’s neck as she knew she liked. Her beautiful red eyes showed apprehension despite the smile on her face, and Diana ran a hand up Akko’s back. She pulled the brunette closer, breathed in her scent and took a moment to try and appreciate it. She failed.</p>
<p>Growing frustrated, she took a wand out of her pocket. “You want to do… <em>that</em>, again?” Akko asked.</p>
<p>Diana nailed her eyes on Akko. “Will that be a problem?”</p>
<p>“N-no, just… You know, it leaves me tired and… maybe we could wait until after dinner?” She asked with a bit of a pleading voice.</p>
<p>A part of Diana understood why she wanted to push back, but why couldn’t she see? She had so much happiness, what was the issue with sharing some of it? “Sure,” Diana said, looking away.</p>
<p>Akko paused. “W-wait, you’re not angry, are you?”</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Diana said without emotion.</p>
<p>Biting her lower lip, the brunette leaned towards Diana. “H-hey, don’t worry. We can do it now.”</p>
<p>Without waiting, Diana looked at her again and touched her wand to the back of Akko’s head. When casting the spell, Akko grimaced. Then, bringing the wand to the back of her own head, Diana waited a second.</p>
<p>But not too long. She touched herself with the wand, and the world disappeared.</p>
<p>Light. Shining, bright light that enclosed everything. It was soothing, and then, a vision. Diana felt her worries and problems disappear, substituted by the pure joy of seeing <em>her.</em> Shiny Chariot, more than twenty years ago, in all of her glory. <em>The</em> performance, the one Diana herself had seen too. Despite the negative connotations it had had for both Akko and Diana, the brunette till found the memory intoxicatingly precious.</p>
<p>And Diana too. It seemed that all of Akko’s joy was born out of Chariot, out of her source of inspiration. And it brought her back, to the times when she’d also admired the idol—before focusing on studies. Before taking over the Cavendish family. Before her current life. A time when things were simple, when her mother was alive and everything was right in the world.</p>
<p>Diana watched the entirety of the memory, as she’d done so many times before. Her only relief from the drag of daily life, her only true joy in a colorless world.</p>
<p>And then it was over. The spell ended, her connection to Akko severed, and she went back to the real world. In front of her, still on her lap, Akko panted and gasped for breath, overwhelmed in turn by all the negative emotions Diana harbored inside her every day. Her eyes were bewildered and unfocused.</p>
<p>Diana pulled her into a hug. “There, there,” she said, now capable of relaxing for at least a while. “Thank you, Akko. I love you.”</p>
<p>Akko didn’t reply, maybe hadn’t even heard. Instead, she simply pressed herself against Diana. She didn’t cry—she hadn’t cried since the first few times. But she held on to Diana as if her life depended on it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As always, not long before it was time to sleep, the rush from Akko’s memories started to fade, and Diana’s chest once again began feeling heavy. She finished the gin bottle in a few more glasses and then stored it away, the alcohol helping her relieve some of the stress and, more importantly, it’d make her sleep soundly.</p>
<p>And, as always, guilt started to crawl up Diana’s back.</p>
<p>Akko’s memories were intoxicating. They gave her release from a life she didn’t want.</p>
<p>It wasn’t healthy. For her or for Akko. Why did she keep doing it? At moments like these, she couldn’t tell. And yet, she knew she would do it again. She didn’t have the strength to resist. Why did this happen to her? Where had she gone wrong?</p>
<p>She grabbed her head. Akko was happy; she could see it every time their brains connected. She loved her job, her wife, she had plenty of friends—all things Diana couldn’t claim. It wasn’t so bad to share some of that, right? It didn’t cause her any lasting damage. What was a few moments of anxiety? Diana suffered from that <em>every day.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>And so I make Akko suffer too?</em>
</p>
<p>The logical and emotional sides of her clashed. When she was with Akko, she couldn’t help it. She loved her wife, now asleep—she did.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>Every night, the same ponderings. Every night, the same conclusions. Nothing ever changed—and that included Diana. Maybe that was the issue, but she was too tired to try anything else. Not enough time in her life. Even now, she had to deal with bullshit contracts from people that would look to steal everything away from her and her family at the first chance that presented itself. This new contract she’d been presented with had a lot of obtuse wording that was clearly meant to confuse and be exploited at a later date. Diana marked every wrongly phrased paragraph, growing frustrated that she even had to consider making deals with people who would try to do this to her.</p>
<p>Could she go back to Akko and ask her for more? Akko would do it. She always did. Despite being, arguably, the most successful of the two, she always placed Diana first.</p>
<p>Diana swallowed. She’d never done it twice in a single day. But what harm could it do? Just… Just a bit more. She stood, but stopped before taking even a single step. <em>No.</em> What was she thinking? She sat back down. No, she already felt horrible for doing it once. She eyed the alcohol cabinet. Maybe one more drink… Just a little more. Until she finished with this paperwork and could go to bed. Just a little more…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just a little more.</p>
<p>Just a little longer.</p>
<p>Diana kept telling herself that. As a hectic day of business deals and trying to solve the endless problems of managing a family on the verge of collapsing under the weight of its own name, she kept resisting. Looking forward to Akko’s return, to a good glass of alcohol, and to be able to throw all of this away and go to sleep. Even if tomorrow would be the same. Even if she saw no light in this tunnel of endless work.</p>
<p>During the day, many of her assistants called her. When had she stopped going to the office? When someone had caught her drinking at work, right. She’d found that working from home made her less anxious, so she’d shifted gears. Now she didn’t drink at work—though she was certain that was only because of Akko’s influence.</p>
<p>Problems, problems, problems. Every time Diana solved one, two more seemed to pop up. Why couldn’t life be simple? Diana wasn’t a religious person, insofar as that she didn’t truly worship anything or anyone. But she couldn’t help, sometimes, wondering if there was a force out there punishing her for some crime she didn’t remember, maybe from a past life.</p>
<p>And so the first big mistake she’d committed on the job in years happened. She picked up the phone of an important client, and instead of greeting him with a ‘hello’, she instinctively uttered the words: “I’m <em>so tired.”</em></p>
<p>It took her a second to realize what she’d said, but it was too late. Before she could even explain, the man at the other side started berating her, taking the comment as a direct insult—they’d been chatting and discussing across weeks. Diana had been trying really hard to get a contract with him, the owner of a big pharmaceutical that could have made use of the Cavendish expertise in healing magic. But there had been obstacles, and obstacles, and obstacles.</p>
<p>Diana tried to explain herself, but it was to no use. The man had <em>clearly</em> wanted a good reason to turn away from Diana without seeming like he’d been the one to do it. He held on to the chance, and five minutes later the phone call finished with weeks’ worth of work thrown into the trash.</p>
<p>Stunned, the blonde businesswitch put the phone down. Was her hand trembling? She couldn’t tell. She couldn’t feel it.</p>
<p>For the rest of the day, she didn’t pick up the phone a single time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Diana?” Someone shook Diana’s shoulder. “Diana, are you ok?”</p><p>Diana opened her eyes groggily. Where was she? Her room. She was sitting on the sofa in a corner. Next to her, a small table held three different bottles of liquor. Had she drank them all? She didn’t remember, and she didn’t care to. What had happened? Her movements felt sloppy.</p><p>“Diana, thanks Nines,” Akko, in front of her, let out a relieved sigh.</p><p>How long had she been asleep? Akko had changed out of her uniform already. She looked so worried. Why was she? Diana had just been asleep. Why, though? She should’ve been at work, she-</p><p>The memories flooded back, and they felt like a stab in the kidneys. Even with all the alcohol in her blood, Diana’s brain stopped working for a moment as the crushing reality of her mistake threatened to make her cry. “Akko,” Diana said in a slurred voice, taking Akko’s hand and pressing it against her cheek. Beautiful, happy Akko. When Akko had confessed, all those years ago, how could Diana not agree to date her? She was a light in a dark tunnel. Diana remembered how, back then, just her smile and happiness were enough to push the darkness away. When had that changed? “Akko…” Diana pulled on her arm, and Akko came closer. “I… need…” tears threatened to come out of Diana’s eyes.</p><p>“D-Diana, please. You’re drunk,” Akko tried to pull away, but Diana kept a firm hold of her. “You need to eat something and sleep. We can talk tomorrow-”</p><p>“No!” Diana shouted. “I need… Please…” a tear ran down her face as she looked at her wife, pleading. “Just a little…”</p><p>Conflict evident on her face, Akko didn’t’ reply immediately. But when more tears started running down Diana’s face, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright,” she smiled kindly, even if her eyes held pity. Diana didn’t care, all she wanted was to not feel bad, if just for a few moments.</p><p>With a trembling hand, she held on to Akko and connected their brains once again.</p><p>Release.</p><p>Diana saw a number of Akko’s memories. The first time she’d seen Chariot, the times rare cards came out of booster packs, that time her mother bought her a Chariot disguise. The time she’d received the news of her acceptance into Luna Nova. So many happy memories. All of them untainted by a hard life.</p><p>She didn’t know how much time passed, but she eventually let go.</p><p>In front of her, Akko held her head with both hands. When had she knelt? She panted heavily, and for the first time in quite some time, tears ran down her face. Diana couldn’t comprehend what was happening. She felt better now. She felt… Tranquil.</p><p>Now, without pain in her chest, she dozed off again.</p><p> </p><p>Diana woke up to her alarm.</p><p>Her head hurt. She turned in bed, trying to get a hold of Akko—but the brunette wasn’t there. Which day was it? Ah, right, Sundays were early days for the brunette.</p><p>What was that pounding? Her brain. A hangover? She hadn’t had one in… quite some time. Diana grunted, putting a hand against her temple, trying to quell the pain. What had happened? Right, the fuckup over the phone, and then… nothing. Diana didn’t remember much, save for the drinking she’d clearly done. Surprisingly, she wasn’t as appalled by that now as she’d been yesterday.</p><p>Yes. Wasn’t she always complaining about working with shitty people? So what if she missed this one deal? Others would come.</p><p>She stood slowly. Save for the headache, she felt… ok. Not great, but it was already miles better than her usual mood.</p><p>The morning came and went, rather uneventful after Diana downed some painkillers. Usual business, though it was somehow more manageable than other days. When lunch came, it being Sunday, Diana waited to eat, since Akko should be arriving any minute.</p><p>Akko. Diana tried not to think too much of what she’d done to her in previous days: It was all in the past. Plus, she felt alright today. Things would go smoothly.</p><p>When the brunette finally stepped into the dining room, Diana smiled at her. Akko, however, didn’t seem to notice her as she took off most of her uniform and sat at the table, a hand to her head. “Good day, Akko,” Diana said.</p><p>Akko turned to her as if pained. “Hey. Sorry, I’m just…”</p><p>Weird. She looked like he had a hangover. But she never drank-</p><p>Something dawned on Diana. It was strange, if she thought about it, that she didn’t feel bad after what had been a horrible day and drinking until loss of consciousness. “Are you… feeling ok?” Diana asked.</p><p>Akko shook her head. “I… I think I got a bit of your hangover.”</p><p>“Oh,” Diana looked down. And just like that, what had been a sort-of-ok day turned dark. “I… see,” she said, clenching a fist and avoiding Akko’s gaze. <em>I did that.</em></p><p>Diana didn’t say anything else during lunch. And maybe the worst part of it all was that Akko didn’t either.</p><p> </p><p>The afternoon got worse. Maybe it was the same as any other afternoon, but every new phone call, every new sheet of numbers Diana looked at, it all seemed to drag her down, down, down. Like a brakeless car going downhill, the rest of the day was riddled with moments where the world seemed to disappear and her breath went away. Every time Diana managed to get back her composure, but it was a little harder with each iteration of the event.</p><p>When night arrived, Diana was on the verge of collapse.</p><p>But she’d had such a… decent morning. Why? Her thoughts kept going to Akko. But she was also afraid. She didn’t want—no, that was a lie. She <em>wanted</em> to connect with her again. That was the problem. What if she took it too far?</p><p>But she wouldn’t. She never did. She could control herself. Whatever had happened yesterday had been a side effect of alcohol, surely. She’d never <em>harm</em> Akko. She just… she just wanted a little of her happiness.</p><p>Just a little.</p><p>Wasn’t that what they were married for? To share happiness together? Everything Diana did, she did for both she and Akko. She… was making excuses. She understood this, on a logical level. Excuses, excuses, excuses.</p><p>This didn’t stop her.</p><p>When dinner time came around, Diana stepped into the dining room. Akko was there, already with a plate in front of her. She seemed to notice Diana’s mood, because she looked at the blonde with worry. “Harsh day?”</p><p>Diana was surprised, really, at how well Akko had learned to read her. “As always,” Diana simply said, lacking the energy to make further comments. Akko looked far better than she had at midday, but she still appeared to be on the lower end of the energy spectrum, not unlike Diana.</p><p>Eating in silence, Diana tried not to look at the cabinet of alcohol. Just a little longer. She’d ask Akko for help instead of turning to drink; that’d be better anyways. By the end of the meal, Diana put aside her plates and stared at Akko, who instantly knew what was going to happen next.</p><p>“You haven’t… been drinking today, right?” Akko asked with apprehension.</p><p>“No,” Diana simply replied. “So…”</p><p>Akko nodded, standing slowly and walking over to Diana. Diana took out her wand, and Akko sat on top of her. Diana stared into her eyes. There’d been a time when doing this would have made her heart race. For the sake of it, she leaned forward, kissing the brunette. Akko reciprocated this time. It was nice. Kissing Akko was always <em>nice,</em> it helped a little.</p><p>But not enough. It hadn’t been enough for a while now.</p><p>Diana connected their brains.</p><p>Happy memories flooded her, relaxing and nostalgic, even if they weren’t hers. And this time she managed to not stay in too long. When she finished the spell, Akko didn’t look as tired as she usually did. In fact, she smiled encouragingly at Diana. “You seem to be doing better,” she said.</p><p>Yes, maybe she was right. Maybe… maybe the tide would change.</p><p> </p><p>Or not.</p><p>For all the nice that Sunday had been, the rest of the week was hell on earth.</p><p>Without the deal, many of Diana’s investors were pissed off. This meant she had to scramble to make new ones. But this lead to extra workload for her: Stuff she couldn’t leave to any underlings. Suddenly, the enormity of her mistake wasn’t so easy to ignore. That morning spent feeling well came back to Diana like a kick: How dare she feel satisfied after screwing up so badly? She had no right to be feeling anything but the need to fix that mistake.</p><p>Every night, Diana used Akko, and drank. It helped, it really did. Or so she thought.</p><p>By Wednesday, she realized Akko’s memories were… losing their effect. So she started to stay longer in them.</p><p>But then, by Friday, after staying possibly the longest she’d ever been in that shared connection, Diana barely felt any better. Akko, in front of her, didn’t look too taxed—she even smiled, happy Diana felt a little better.</p><p>Diana looked at the brunette and then at her hands. The stress of the day had barely been eased. Even the alcohol in her, which was a considerable amount, did nothing.</p><p>“I’m going to sleep,” Akko said, pecking Diana.</p><p>“Wait,” Diana held her in place. “Once more, please.”</p><p>Akko blinked. “Uhm, I don’t know… I don’t think we’ve ever done it twice in the same day…”</p><p>Diana looked straight into Akko’s eyes. “Just a little longer. Please.”</p><p>Akko pressed her lips. “A-alright. But not too long, ok? I’m… tired.”</p><p>Diana nodded, casting the spell once again.</p><p>This time, however, she modified it. She made it stronger. Maybe if she lived those memories more vividly they’d help more.</p><p>She connected to Akko for the second time.</p><p>The world turned white, and Diana was… back. Back in that show of Chariot both her and Akko had seen. Back in the memory that was the same as always—but also so much better. Every color popped up. Every feeling in Akko’s memory enhanced, every sound melodic. Finally, Diana managed to take that and relax. Finally, the darkness of the week seemed to slip away, leaving Diana with the light of Akko’s happiness and joy.</p><p>Diana smiled and let herself be amazed. She laughed when Akko did, and gasped when Chariot transformed into various animals. She even smiled at the little Fuel Spirit fairy that had been the source of so many of the problems of her life.</p><p>When it was over, Diana didn’t want to let go—but she had to.</p><p>She came out of the memory to find Akko leaning against her, eyes closed. A momentary panic came over Diana. “A-Akko?”</p><p>“Mmhmm…?” the brunette replied, clearly just tired. With a breath of relief, Diana picked her wife up, silently thanking her. No crying. In fact, her sleeping was maybe a good sign. Maybe Diana’s side of the deal hadn’t hit her very hard this time. Yes, that had to be it. Maybe, much like Akko’s memories had stopped having a strong effect on her, the same applied to Akko.</p><p>Diana tucked her in bed and then prepared to sleep herself, somewhat happily remembering how the memory had gone, and thankful to Akko for it.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Diana woke up to the horrible realization of what she’d done.</p><p>She remembered Akko’s memory.</p><p>She remembered it in detail. Not just her impressions of it, or her own memories of the same event: She remembered <em>Akko’s</em> memory.</p><p>Without even stopping to turn off her alarm, Diana turned in bed to shake Akko awake—but the brunette wasn’t there. Diana looked around and didn’t find her. Desperately, she took the alarm clock and made it stop. Where was she? Where was Akko?</p><p>She jumped from bed, not changing, not taking her phone which would start to ring any second now. No time for it.</p><p>Throwing the door of her room open, she looked around. Nothing. Starting on her way through the empty hallways of the morning, she headed for the dining room. Akko wasn’t there either. Had she left for work already? She couldn’t go to work! Not like that. Diana ran for the front door. It was <em>way</em> too early for Akko to be up! Had some of Diana gotten into her? That may explain why Diana didn’t feel the crushing despair of every day.</p><p>The front door was open, and her wife was stepping out with a slow step.</p><p>“Akko, wait!” Diana ran to her.</p><p>Akko turned.</p><p>Her expression said everything Diana needed to know.</p><p>“Hey Diana,” she said with the fake smile of one trying to hide her pain. “I thought I’d get an early start on the day.”</p><p>Diana reached the brunette and took her arm. “Come in. It’s far too early for you!”</p><p>Akko shook her head. Her eyes… Her eyes were gloomy. <em>No, no, no nononono,</em> Diana pulled on her, but Akko was stronger and easily freed herself. “I’ve been taking it too easy,” Akko said. “I’ve been causing you pain. I’m an idol. I should be able to bring in enough money for you to not have to worry so much.”</p><p>Her tone edged on the spiteful, and the worst part was that Diana knew it wasn’t directed at her. “No, Akko,” she walked around Akko and put herself in her way. “Stay home for today, alright? You don’t look good.”</p><p>Akko gently pushed Diana aside. “Thanks for the worry,” she pecked Diana, “but I’m alright.”</p><p>Despite her saying that, Diana could see it. Akko was only acting like she would.</p><p>But she couldn’t stop Akko before she hopped onto her broom and took off.</p><p> </p><p>Diana was worried. She was extremely worried.</p><p>But she didn’t feel too anxious.</p><p>That was a problem.</p><p>She’d taken Akko’s memory. Unwillingly, but she’d done it—she’d taken one of the core aspects of Akko’s personality. It wasn’t the only memory of Chariot, but it was the most important one. She could picture it. She could… She could draw from it. She could experience its joy, the inspiration it brought. Thinking of it made her hopeful for the future, determined to follow her dreams. </p><p>This… was it, wasn’t it?</p><p>It was everything Diana had wanted. The reason she’d kept pestering Akko for those connection sessions. If she had this, she wouldn’t have to do that anymore! She wasn’t stressed or anxious, she didn’t feel like drinking! She felt ready to tackle the world and strike business deals and to fix all of the mistakes she’d made.</p><p>She’d buy Akko something nice, she’d take her out for dinner. Even without this memory, Akko would be able to make it. She had other chariot memories and her own: She knew how to perform, she had charisma and a good manager.</p><p>This wouldn’t kill her. It would be fine. Akko was strong; far stronger than Diana. What was the harm? Akko hadn’t ever complained, why would she start now? She wanted Diana to be happy. It was perfectly normal, now. It would be easier for them.</p><p>It was just a little memory, after all.</p><p> </p><p>Diana had a mostly good day. The nagging guilt of her actions successfully ignored, she found her duties far easier to handle. Her problems weren’t as bad, the papers that showed a growth were a reason to be happy, instead of depressed at how small that growth had been. Diana could <em>breathe.</em> Even after a full day of activity, she was… alright. She didn’t feel like drinking. She even felt comfortable taking a break that wasn’t induced by anxiety attacks.</p><p>That same night , Diana sat on her chair drinking nothing but a can of soda and enjoying the first book she’d read in… years. She even laughed at one of the jokes in it.</p><p>Things were looking bright.</p><p>For her, at least.</p><p>Akko walked into the room; and it was instantly apparent something was wrong. Her expression was a worried one, and her eyes seemed unable to focus in one place for too long. She put her hat and cape away and sat at the table, holding her head.</p><p>“H-hello,” Diana said. She got no reply. “Akko?”</p><p>The brunette looked up. Her breathing was agitated, even if she didn’t look tired. “I… Sorry, just…” she shook her head. “I messed up during rehearse today,” she laughed nervously.</p><p>Diana put the soda down, gulping. “Y-yes? Well, mistakes are normal when you’re trying out a new routine, no need for-”</p><p>She shook her head. “It wasn’t that kind of messing up. I forgot to…” she laughed softly, as if finding what she was about to say funny. “I forgot to smile.”</p><p> Oh. <em>Oh.</em></p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>“Y-you what?” Diana asked.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Akko shrugged. “Guess I wasn’t in the mood today,” she closed her eyes. “I’m just tired, probably.”</p><p>“But you’re never… But you…” Diana tried to think of an excuse, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it.</p><p>Akko looked miserable.</p><p>Akko… looked like Diana did every other day.</p><p>Something twisted inside of Diana. She started breathing more heavily. She looked at the book she held, and it made her sick. Putting it aside, she looked at her hands. Akko had forgotten to <em>smile.</em> She loved her job. She loved performing. It made her happy, it was her dream, it was what fulfilled her. It was <em>everything</em> for her.</p><p>And she hadn’t smiled.</p><p><em>What am I doing?</em> Diana asked herself.</p><p>What had she been doing all this time? <em>What’s my problem? How can I be such an idiot?</em></p><p>She understood what her problem was. Looking at Akko was like a bucket of ice thrown on her head. She couldn’t keep this up. Lying to herself like that would only cause Akko to end up like Diana had.</p><p>And Diana couldn’t do that.</p><p>Not to her.</p><p>Akko was the one person in the planet who she wanted to be really happy, and she’d…. She had taken that away.</p><p>“Akko, come here,” Diana said.</p><p>The brunette didn’t even fight or hesitate this time. She stood and walked over to Diana, sitting on her lap, knowing what was about to happen. “At least you look alright. Did you have a good day?” Akko asked her, trying to smile.</p><p>Diana’s lips trembled as she smiled back. “Yes. The best day I’ve had in years.”</p><p>“That’s good to know,” Akko managed to finally smile, and Diana didn’t wait a second longer to cast the spell—only this time she made it go in reverse.</p><p>The memories she got to see this time weren’t so positive.</p><p>She saw Akko before one of her shows, anxious because she’d heard some important politicians had come to see. She saw Akko during practice, frustrated because this one trick she’d been practicing non-stop still didn’t work. She saw Akko reading some criticisms of her act or her as a person through the internet, and getting bummed out because of it.</p><p>Then, it shifted. She saw Akko coming home and finding out Diana had been drinking again. She saw with pain how Diana didn’t seem to care about her day. How the news of her record-breaking viewership didn’t affect her. How the only thing Diana seemed to care about was the connection to her brain. How the only moments Diana acted lovingly towards her were when she wanted to do that.</p><p>She wondered if Diana even loved her at all. If she ever had.</p><p>The spell ended, and Diana broke, starting to cry.</p><p>Akko blinked in front of her, surprised. She had her memory back. She looked, confused, as Diana leaned forward and pulled her closer. “I’m… so… sorry…” she said with a strained voice, trying to hold back. But she couldn’t.</p><p>She began sobbing, and soon, that turned into bawling. “I’m so sorry, Akko,” she said. “I’m so sorry, so sorry…” She repeated the words in between sobs and whines.</p><p>Akko hugged her, saying nothing. She wasn’t an idiot. She understood what had just happened. “I never… I didn’t want to…” she couldn’t finish any phrases or even thoughts. Only one feeling existed, overpowering everything else.</p><p>Guilt.</p><p>She was weak. As she cried, she leaned more and more, but Akko kept her in place. Akko’s arms, strong, surrounding her as they always did. Supporting her, despite everything Diana had done to her. The thought only made Diana cry more.</p><p>Finally, she’d seen. She’d seen how her actions affected Akko. And what was worse, how Akko didn’t hate her. Akko wasn’t angry, or resentful. She was only saddened.</p><p>“I love you,” Diana managed to say. “I really do,” she wondered if she was saying it just because of Akko, or because she herself hadn’t been sure until that moment. “I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your laugh, and your happiness, and <em>you,</em>” she managed to say, though every word was slurred by sobs and difficulty breathing. Diana was staining Akko’s uniform with tears and even snot, but she just couldn’t stop.</p><p>“I know,” Akko said, kissing the top of Diana’s head. “I’ve always known.”</p><p>The words were so relieving they managed to make Diana redouble her bawling.</p><p>And she kept on doing so for a good while.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Diana took vacations.</p><p>It was clear that continuing with work would only make her more miserable. She left everything to her underlings, and she disconnected.</p><p>But she didn’t only get away from work. She threw away every last drop of alcohol in the Cavendish manor. She wouldn’t drink ever again. Withdrawal had been harsh, but she’d managed to get through it with the determination she’d always shown everything else.</p><p>On top of that, she took time away from Akko.</p><p>While it was good for her—it gave her time to process all the wrong she’d done to the brunette—it was mostly for Akko’s sake. Diana wanted her to have time to process, too. To see all the things Diana had done and to decide for herself if she… if she still wanted to be with her.</p><p>It was scary. Here was Diana, sitting at a small summer house she’d bought a few years ago, away from everything; uncertain of whether her wife would even be so when she went back the next day. She’d been out of contact with the world for two entire months.</p><p>She wasn’t entirely ok now, though. It was clear she’d never be completely ok again. Not after all of that, not after all she’d done; even with all the therapy money could afford. But she felt better, on her own, than she’d felt in years. Being alone had given her time to ponder. To really figure out what she wanted.</p><p>And that, right now, was to be happy. Every step she’d take from now on she’d try to take towards that goal. To achieve happiness on her own. To not rely on someone else’s happiness. If Akko had left it’d be a harsh blow. But she felt like she could take it. In fact, she expected that to be the case. Who would stay with Diana after that? After making her go through something as awful as connecting like that every night. After nearly destroying what made her entire personality for a whim.</p><p>After treating her like a tool for years.</p><p>The rest of the day was nerve-wrecking, but Diana dealt with it without that feeling of being unable to breathe. A part of her knew that, no matter what happened tomorrow, it’d be for the best.</p><p>It was with that knowledge that she went to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Being back home felt like a dream. It all looked the same, but Diana felt different—she was different. As soon as she landed her broom, she noticed the line of servants waiting for her. She walked up to the main door, not failing to notice that Akko wasn’t there to receive her.</p><p>She didn’t let her disappointment show. She understood this was a possibility, and she’d come prepared for it. Despite the lump forming on her throat, she’d deal with it. For now, she needed to settle in and-</p><p>“Diana!” A voice came from the sky.</p><p>Diana looked up and saw a figure on a broom diving towards her. Akko jumped when she was still like a meter off the ground, and Diana extended her hands instinctively, catching her—but stumbling backwards, and the two of them fell together.</p><p>After recovering from the shock, Diana looked at Akko, who held her head. “Akko! Are you alright?” Diana leaned forward, trying to see if Akko had been harmed.</p><p>Akko shook her head and smiled widely, like she always did. “Of course I am! My wife’s back after two months!”</p><p>Hearing those two words made Diana freeze. ‘My wife’.</p><p>She… “You didn’t leave,” Diana said in a small voice.</p><p>Akko chuckled and crawled closer. “I’d never leave you, Diana. We all make mistakes. And, well… I’ll never stop loving you.”</p><p>“But all I did…” Diana’s lips trembled.</p><p>Akko shut her up with a kiss. “I forgive you, Diana. So let’s forget that and look forward to a brighter future, don’t you agree?”</p><p>“I… do…” Diana managed to say before tears started streaming down her face, and her own sobs stopped her from speaking any further. Akko smiled and helped her up, following it up with a hug.</p><p>Diana didn’t deserve her.</p><p>But she’d work to do it. She needed to be better. Just a little better every day.</p><p>Just a little.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks a lot to Mac! Writing this was a nice change of pace from my far more common light-hearted stories. Go follow her on twitter, @macartura08, for some really cool art!</p><p>If you enjoyed this, and would like to see <i>some more of it</i>, consider <i>checking out</i> my twitter or contacting me through Discord!<br/>-Twitter: @BillErak (95% of this account is retweets of shitposting or gay stuff, check pinned tweet)<br/>-Discord Tag: VathýSkotádi#1696<br/>I'd really appreciate the <i>support!</i></p></blockquote></div></div>
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